An attempt by an average but witty guy to share his fashion wisdom with misguided females, this diatribe on female fashion sins is amusing in a frat boy sort of way. He’s right about crocs and red lipstick I suppose – I’m not a huge fan of either – though the idea that there are just three types of red pushes his musings into Neanderthal territory. I’m just supposed to find the piece amusingly vulgar and refreshing, but the angst from men with boring style and cleverness to spare directed at the “pregnancy blouses” has always perplexed me. A lot of guys who wear un-tucked stripey shirts seem to make fun of the women who wear pregnancy blouses.
Can one be against a style because it is trendy and overdone? I suppose, though some people can still do them well. I get his point about this type of clothing being appropriate only for pregnant women, but they can also be an interesting play on proportions. Like many styles, they are a runway trend – that looks good on rail-thin models – that many ordinary folk took too far. Yes, they look bad with fat denim-clad legs protruding, but beautiful, slim ones, bare, or in colorful stockings are not as unsexy as he suggests. What kind of women’s style does excite him – tight jeans and a fitted white tank top?
As for the Cuban dictator hat thing, I find a tad annoying, though I haven’t really had the misfortune of seeing many of the hipster women that he mentions. There is an argument made time and again about style: “it was made for X, so if you’re not X, don’t wear it because you’ll look like a poser.” I believe much of the point of fashion is aspiration and fantasy. At its highest level, fashion is about narcissistic delusions. It gives ordinary, boring, people with burnable money and time the opportunity to dress to escape their mundane life. You don’t have to be a writer, artist, or dictator, but you can pretend you’re one with the right hat.
All the same, it’s a funny piece, and he is essentially laughing at people with mainstream and unimaginative senses of style, so I can’t complain too much.